Enough With The Racism, You Drunken Irish Bastard!


Being that I consider myself to be somewhat of a wordsmith, I was delighted to run across a list of eight everyday words – and their origins. I was also amused by the urban legend that has grown around one of those words – and the race-baiting “opportunities” it has presented to our loony friends on the left. Who knew? Here ya go:


How it’s used:

“I was nearly killed on my drive home by a group of hooligans playing paintball on the interstate.”

What you’re actually saying:

“I was nearly killed on my drive home by a group of drunken Irish bastards playing paintball on the interstate.”

The earliest use of the word “hooligan” dates back to British newspapers and police reports in the summer of 1898. They seem to have adapted the word from the Houlihan family, a group of Irish immigrants living in London. The family became known for their hilarious drinking songs, raucous partying and the enthusiastic police brutality that tended to follow.

Despite their beatdowns, the Houlihans continued to fight for their right to party, and did their motherland proud by forever associating their ethnic surname with stupid teenagers who like to play paintball on the interstate.


How it’s used:

“Some vandals TP’ed the wall behind the local high school.”

What you’re actually saying:

“A horde of dirty godless Germans TP’ed the wall behind the local high school.”

Perhaps a few of you who actually paid attention in history class will recall that the “Vandals” were one of the Germanic tribes that sacked Rome. While they weren’t any more or any less destructive than any of the other tribes that finally had enough from Rome, they will still have the distinction of lending their name to toilet-paper-hurling doofuses until the end of time.

Hip Hip Hooray!

How it’s used:

“We won the Super Bowl! Hip hip hooray!”

What you’re actually saying:

“We won the Super Bowl! Let’s go kill some Jews!

The first half of “hip hip hooray” is adapted from “hep hep,” an old German shepherds’ herding cry: actual shepherds of sheep in Germany – not the dogs.

Sounds pretty innocuous, huh? It was – until 1819, or so, when the good people of Germany and neighboring countries began using it as a rallying cry while engaging in the delightful “sport” of Hebrew-hunting in the Jewish ghettos. Good thing to keep in mind the next time you’re searching for an appropriate cheer with which to celebrate an accomplishment by one of your Jewish friends.


How it’s used:

“In ‘World of WarCraft,’ I play a level-60 barbarian.”

What you’re actually saying:

“In ‘World of WarCraft,’ I play a filthy vile foreigner.”

Back to history class: While we were taught about Ancient Greek advances in politics, philosophy, architecture and so on, we didn’t learn a whole lot about their propensity for being elitist arrogant jerks. (Remind you of any present-day political parties that start with a “D”?)

Case in point: Not only did they believe that Greek was the best language on the planet; it was the only language that made any sense at all. All other languages sounded to Greeks like people were simply mumbling “bar bar bar bar.” (blah-blah-blah in present day) Thus the word “barbarian” came to be; barbarians were everybody else on the face of the earth. 


How it’s used:

“The puppy peed on the rug again, that little bugger!”

What you’re actually saying:

“The puppy peed on the rug again, that little Bulgarian homosexual!

Back in the day, the Catholic Church was really intolerant of other religions (vs. just “moderately” intolerant today). The word “bugger” stems from “Bulgarian,” but medieval Catholics used it as a catch-all term for all members of the East Orthodox Church. These buggers were considered to be heretics, and heresy is – of course – one slippery step away from sodomy. Connect the dots, you perverts.


How it’s used:

“What a disgusting crime! All cannibals should be sent to prison for life!”

What You’re Actually Saying:

“What a disgusting crime! All people from the West Indies should be sent to prison for life!”

Picture this: You’re a member of one of the indigenous tribes of the West Indies. Every day, you wake up under the warm Caribbean sun, do a hard day’s work and then chill out on the beach and watch another beautiful sunset. The weather is always perfect and life is good. Then, one day – seemingly out of nowhere – a group of crazy Italians hop off a boat with muskets and accuse you and your pals of cannibalism.

Much like the Vandals, the Caribs got stuck with an unfortunate label that had nothing to do with reality.


How it’s used:

“Five dollars for a candy bar? Are you kidding me? What a gyp!”

What you’re actually saying:

“Five dollars for a candy bar? Are you kidding me? You filthy Eastern European immigrant!

While many people believe that “gyp” is short for “Gypsy,” it was actually an ethnic slur used by Western Europeans for the Romani people who emigrated from Eastern Europe. The term “Gypsy” evolved from the habit of calling these people “Egyptians,” because they apparently looked Egyptian to the locals. (Perhaps a simple “So, where are you guys from?” could have save a whole lot of confusion.)

To this day, Gypsies are stereotyped as sneaky, thieving con artists. (At least they don’t destroy your stuff like those bastard vandals.)


How it’s used:

“What a beautiful day! The sun’s shining; the bluebirds are singing; it’s a lovely day for a picnic!”

What You’re Actually Saying:

“What a beautiful day! The sun’s shining; the bluebirds are singing; it’s a lovely day to lynch some black people!

Actually, NOT. This is what you’re really saying:

“What a beautiful day! The sun’s shining; the bluebirds are singing; it’s a lovely day for a picnic!


You can thank your favorite “expert” (liberal) linguist for this urban legend; in most discussions on the topic of “surprisingly” racist words, some genius is likely to jump in with this:

“Did you know that ‘picnic’ dates back to lynching parties? It’s true, ‘picnic’ is short for ‘pick a n*gger.’ As in, pick one to lynch. So when you eat sandwiches in the park, the blood of African Americans stains your very checkered tablecloth. Enjoy your sandwich, you racist.”

Unfortunately, (for the race-baiters) this is simply not true. According to Snopes.com, the word “picnic” actually derives from the totally innocent French word “piquenique.”

The aforementioned racist meaning of the word is found nowhere – other than with the previously mentioned race-baiters – and with the Obama Regime’s Department of Justice, as well. (Although some might argue – with good cause – that one is a subset of the other.)

See you at the picnic, you hooligans.

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Categories: Food for Thought, Good Stuff, Huh?, Humor and Satire, Just Because!, Seriously

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2 replies

  1. Loved this! As a lefty loon, of course I love NPR, and one of my favorite programs is Way With Words. Recently heard a little about the etymology of the term “boondoggle” – often used to refer to wasteful government tax spending. When we say boondogle, we are actually insulting the boy scouts.

    Actually the term boondoggle was coined by the Rochester Boy Scouts Scoutmaster Robert Link at the jamboree in England in 1929. It was a braided, leather lanyard craft and a real hit with the boys. They spent a lot of time making them at the jamboree.

    Fast forward to an article in the New York Times in 1935 with the headline “$3,187,000 Relief is Spent to Teach Jobless to Play … Boon Doggles Made”. The “boon doggles” of the headline turn out to be small items of leather, rope and canvas being made by the jobless during the Great Depression as a form of make-work.

    People are funny :)

    • Good addition! I love this kind of stuff too; was great fun writing the article. Have another one rolling around in my head about swear words of old that I will write someday. Too funny.

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