AL QAEDA: CBS AND ABC ARE JUST SWELL – BUT FOX ‘LACKS NEUTRALITY’

MSNBC WAS JUST SWELL TOO – UNTIL IT FIRED KEITH OLBERMANN

This just in from the You Can’t Make This Stuff Up Department: Internal al Qaeda memos show that those madcap Islamic-extremist rascals (the dead ones) were damn fond of CBS and ABC – but had pretty much decided that Fox News was “in the abyss” and should “die in anger.” Oh, and 60 Minutes wasn’t too bad either. Is this absolutely delicious, or what?

And, in the “used to be just swell” category, we find perennial toilet-dweller, MSNBC – which the terrorist group thought was pretty awesome too – until it fired Keith Olbermann, that is. Damn – al Qaeda won’t even watch MSNBC.

No word on whether NBC and CNN plan to lodge formal complaints with al Qaeda.

According to recently released documents, Osama bin Laden wondered aloud if it might not be possible to buddy up with a US news network as he pondered various strategies for maximizing the propaganda potential of last year’s tenth anniversary of 9/11. (Too bad OBL couldn’t have witnessed the O-man’s epic effort in exploiting his death – how ironic.) US-born(also dead) al-Qaida spokesman, Adam Gadahn, was just the guy to give OBL the incisive scoop on the American news media.

After OBL concluded that CBS was a logical choice – given that the network was “close to unbiased,” he contacted Gadahn for advice. Gadahn proved to be an exceptionally good student of the American media.

While agreeing with the boss that CBS was indeed “unbiased,” Gadahn also offered up further analysis of the media, referring to ABC as “alright”:

 “Actually it could be one of the best channels, as far as we are concerned. It is interested in al-Qaida issues, particularly the journalist Brian Ross, who is specialised in terrorism. The channel is still proud for its interview with the shaykh (Bin Laden).”

Gadahn also had kind words for CBS’s 60 Minutes:

“It (CBS) has a famous programme (60 Minutes) that has some popularity and a good reputation for its long broadcasting time.” 

As for MSNBC, the dead terrorist provided OBL with a mixed review:

“I used to think that MSNBC may be good and neutral a bit, but is has lately fired two of the most famous journalists – Keith Olbermann and Octavia Nasser the Lebanese.”

Nasser was fired by CNN after she sent a tweet mourning the death of a Hezbollah leader. Olbermann was fired for making financial donations to Democratic party politicians.

As one might imagine, Gadahn’s opinion of Fox News was not only predictable, (He suggested that Fox – “in an abyss” – should “die in anger.”), it was also virtually identical to the opinion of Fox shared by liberals. Who knew? (We did.) In summary, al Qaeda’s media expert summed up his advice to OBL as follows:

In general, and no matter what material we send, I suggest that we should distribute it to more than one channel, so that there will be healthy competition between the channels in broadcasting the material, so that no other channel takes the lead. It should be sent for example to ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN and maybe PBS and VOA. As for Fox News, let her die in her anger.”

I can see it now: ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN and PBS fighting to scoop each other on their respective messages from bin Laden like pigeons fighting over a french fry in a McDonald’s parking lot.

Unfortunately for CBS and ABC, bin Laden was never able to act on Gadahn’s advice; he was killed four months before the anniversary. That’ll teach the Obama Media Group the folly of giving sympathy to terrorists – or NOT.

^

Too bad the O-man went over that wall and took out bin Laden; it would have been fun to watch.

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Categories: Al Qaeda, Good Stuff, Huh?, Islamic Extremism, Liberal Media Bias, Obama Media Group, Planet Obama, The Obama Media Group

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